Of late, other than the normal discussions about South West Trains crepe service levels, there has been a lot of chatter about the type of people who commute daily. Are you a Nuzzler? Or perhaps a Scumbag?
Akin to one of those quizzes you used to get in Just 17 (if you're a bloke - those things your partner used to make you answer!) below is a list of the types of people we see every day.
Massive thanks to those who contributed to this. If your not already following them, you should!
The Whistleblower: Before passengers have even got off the
train (let alone ON) this particularly rare breed will have tried to shut the
damn doors
The Nuzzler: “When leaning on you isn’t
enough, they have to nuzzle your face. Gross”
The Eternal Optimist: “a seated passenger
gets up ready to leave train at final stop....good luck getting past the 50 by
the doors!”
Hells Angels: The bikers on the non-bike trains taking
their lives (and potential seats!) into their own hands.
The Palatials: Those paying through the nose to sit in
first class and not notice the dozen people squished up against the windows in
steerage
Meet the Managers: When 1 page of the FT just won’t do, why
not spread your arms as wide as possible. No need to worry about other
passengers, you just carry on!
The Unawares: “Oh sorry, did I bump into you in my haste to
catch/leave a train?” – a phrase sadly lost on this particular breed who
blithely carry on as if no one else in the world mattered
Mr Small Shot: those who want you
to believe they are big shot business men doing big deals but don't sit in
first class!!
Scumbags: Those that don't
stand for pregnant women
Door-Hogs: Those who delay trains by insisting on getting on & of
train at door nearest station exit
Honorable mention to:
Snoringbanker, Makeupgirl, ChattyMum, LycraLad, PutTheDinnerOnDad and GapToothGuard
Snoringbanker, Makeupgirl, ChattyMum, LycraLad, PutTheDinnerOnDad and GapToothGuard
Could I add "CateringTrolley"?
ReplyDeleteThese steel and alloy dinosaurs of a former era when you could actually afford to buy a railway snack are now largely irrelevant, and what's worse, take up the space for 3 standing passengers, er, customers. I see one nearly every day, stuck helplessly in a vestibule on the Portsmouth Harbour train, unable to move because of all the standing customers. Standing, the new seating eh?
CateringTrolley is generally tended by someone who once aspired to airline cabin crew, but who's hopes were cruelly dashed early on and is usually seen staring blankly into space, perhaps wondering if they're going to sell a Mars Bar before Rowlands Castle.
Like many aspects of Southwest Trains, CateringTrolley still survives even though it must make practically no money.